The Longest Week of My Life

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones

The hypocritical art connoisseur

Time for my latest rant.

As I was driving home from a great sushi dinner with friends, the conversation turned, as it often does with me, to movies. They were asking me what some great films were, I mentioned that they should see "Good Night, and Good Luck," "Paradise Now" and, perhaps most importantly, "Crash." My friend in the backseat asked what Crash was rated and I told him. He, like many of my other friends, does not watch any film that is rated "R." I respect that, I feel that people should live their lives in accordance with their personal beleifs and I support them in that decision.

A friend of my friends piped up from the backseat, "you should get it from CleanFlicks," she said," it is really good."

This, I cannot support. The audacity of people to think they have the right to take the artistic expression of the director and modify it to suit their own tastes. The best analogy I can think of for this situation is that of putting underwear, or a fig leaf (like in the BYU Art History book), and using it to cover up Michaelangelo's David. It is the exact same thing.

Before continuing I will concede that some directors are not in the business to express themselves artisticly and use inappropriate material in an distasteful manner just to sell movie tickets. I do not patronize these films, whether they are "R" or even "PG-13." I have found that some of the latter offend much more than many or most of the former.

After relating this analogy, the girl in the backseat exclaimed, "I have seen the David, it is so beautiful!"

It took a lot to keep myself from reaching back and smacking her (not literally, I would of course never do that).

I can't understand people who can accept a nude sculpture or painting as art, yet deem material in quality films to be immoral. How can this difference be rationalized? Where is the line to be drawn? Have you ever seen The Ecstasy of St Theresa? What do these type of people think of this sculpture? I am quite sure that this girl would accept this piece as art, yet continue to reject movies that are much less graphic.

I would love someone to explain this rationale to me.

it's a good idea to do this anyway...

How conservative is too conservative?

Brains are like refrigerators, they only work when they are closed.

"What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"

Yesterday I had the amazing oportunity to meet and chat with Mr. Gary Coleman, who, by the way, is really shorter and smaller than he looks on TV (didn't think that was possible did you?).





I shot the breeze with Clint Howard for a while, I guess with a face like that you have to be very personable, though I am sure having a famous director as an older brother helps too.





Andrew Wilson is just as cool in person as he and his more famous younger brothers are in all their films. Very cool guy.

The Story of My Life

The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

Indifference

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Brokeback Whinin'

Gary Coleman is much shorter in person, but more on that later.

I was just reading an article on CNN.com that speaks of Brokeback author Annie Proulx's outrage at the Academy for giving the Oscar to "Crash" instead of "Brokeback Mountain."

In a British newspaper, the 70-year-old author of the original Brokeback short story proceeds to rip the Academy a new one by saying declaring them to be ""out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city."

I have seen both "Crash" and "Brokeback." In my (admittidly limited) opinion, "Crash" was far superior in almost every way. The ensemble cast of the film was simply amazing, bringing the audience through an often intesne spectrum of human emotions. The only point on which I can admit that Brokeback was a superior work is in its cinematography; it is a very beautiful film.

Los Angeles and Academy voters were not 'homophobic' and were certainley not scared to vote for the controversial "Brokeback," they simply viewed the entries and chose the better of the two. Having said that, however, I must say that I was just as surprised as Mr. Nicholson when "Crash" won for best picture, which I think is indicative of the power of clever advertising people, who made sure everybody knew who was going to win.

Annie Proulx is just pissed that she is missing out on the increased royalties that would surely come from a Best Picture win.

Chemistry vs. Compatibility

One of the most memorable exchanges in the wonderful film "Love Actually" plays out as follows.

Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?


AMEN.

Why do we constantly submit ourselves to this kind of abuse. You would think people would learn but, as the prophetic song says, "so, for at least until tomorrow, I'll never fall in love again."

Most of us single guys are always searching for that perfect balance of chemistry and compatibility in a woman that can make us happy for more than a few weeks or months.

I have had experiences where this chemistry/compatibility scale is tipped in either direction. I have even, once or twice, been in a relationship where the scale seems to be balanced quite well, but then somehow manage to screw it up.

If the scale is tipped significantly to one side, let's say chemistry, what course should one pursue in the relationship? Should compatibility be sought after? If so, to what extent? What if weeks and months go by and, though the chemistry seems to be unabated, the relationship still lacks a more meaningful connection?

The answer is of course obvious. A relationship cannot be based solely in the physical realm and remain healthy. So, this being the only choice, why is it such a difficult one to make?

To quote the J. Geils Band's infinite wisdom, I hereby declare, "Love Stinks!!!"